Four to Six...days, weeks, or months

When we took Belle we said we would take her until the end of spring break which was four days away. Then we said we would keep her until her first court date which was six days from when we first took her. We were then told her case would go on until at least May which would be about six weeks. Today we were told it is looking more like four to six months. I kind of had to laugh at the numbers. What we agreed to do for four days has turned into a half year journey. Such is foster care. Belle is such a sweetie and we enjoy her. We are glad to keep her; although I think Davin and I are both questioning our sanity at this point. It is interesting that cases that seem easy sometimes become complex and complex cases sometimes become the easy ones. Pray for our sanity and our ability to parent three children at once.

Overhelmed

Not by the kids. The kids are doing great but I have a crazy week this week and I am just worried about how it is all going to get done. 

Tomorrow I have a faculty meeting until 5:30. Tuesday Belle's caseworker is coming over in the evening. Wednesday our once a year safety eval is taking place at our house. That means she will be looking in every nook and cranny in the house and garage to see that we are up to code on our safety issues. It is just such a pain because I can't hide any messes anywhere because she will see everything. I have a WILDTREE food prep party on Thursday that I have to shop and prep for before Thursday. I'm not sure when that is going to get done. Maybe Thursday after work but that will make for a long day and will make the party less fun. Friday is Macy and Alea's sleepover party and on Saturday afternoon we have to go to Davin's families house for Easter.

If I didn't take off 2 1/2 days last week (E was sick a day and a half and I had a personal day on Friday) I would probably try to take a day off this week to get stuff done. As it is we have our ESOL testing going on this week so work will be crazy busy too. 

Happy 10th Birthday Alea!!

Alea turned 10 yesterday. We had her family party at our house. We had a Muppets theme. I think Alea had a great time.

Today after church we went out to dinner with Macy and her family to Red Robin. I think we have gone to Red Robin with the girls on Alea's birthday since at least kindergarten. They are getting so big.

This Friday they are having their annual joint birthday party. They are having another hotel sleepover party. We are taking donations for the animal shelter this year instead of presents.

Hair

Belle is African American. When we started this journey I was scared we would get an AA girl and that I would have to figure out the hair thing. Let me tell you...it has been a journey. I tried a few things the first week and a half she was here. They didn't last long. At the end of the first full week with us I took her to an AA salon. They put corn rows across the top of her head and then straightened the back. I like natural hair on AA girls (which is not straightened). The straightened hair didn't look good for very long either. I left the corn rows in and did twists in the back of her hair to give her a twist out for two days. Last night I did a better job of putting twists in her hair (this is called a protective style) and this morning it still looked great! Yea! This hair style is my best yet. It is getting easier. It is kind of fun. I use to feel sorry for my friend Korienne because of how long it would take her to do her girls' hair on the weekend but now I realize that even thought it may take an hour or two to fix her hair you don't have to touch it (fix it, wash it, etc.) for days...even up to two weeks or more if the style looks good. It is so great to just have her get dressed and brush her teeth in the morning and she is ready to go to school. (Google twists and twist outs to see what I am talking about.)

Party of 5

Over Spring Break we received over fifteen calls for placement from DHS. There were so many kids coming into care and so many foster families out of town on vacation. We said we would take a child for the week of spring break. We took a little 5 year old girl on Wednesday of spring break (after saying yes to several other placements that didn't end up coming to our house for one reason or another). We thought she might go home the next week Tuesday so we went ahead and kept her into the next week. It turns out they extended the case and DHS said she will stay in care until at least May. We decided we didn't want to send her to another home (she was in another home for two days before she came to us) and she is such a sweet girl that fits in very well with our family so we are keeping her until she goes home or until DHS says otherwise. I have given her the Facebook nickname of Belle because she had such a southern accent when she came to us. She also has such great manners. She called us Ma'am and Sir in the beginning. Whenever she talks to me or asks a question she starts with Ma'am. The only thing we had to work on was saying thank you when someone tells her how cute she is. She was saying, "I know". Too cute. She is such a smart girl. She can tie her shoes!!! She knows her numbers, shapes, colors, letters, and letter sounds. She is very ready of kindergarten in the fall. (She just turned 5.)

Now she calls Davin, Mr. Daven or Dad. She calls her mom, Momma. The other day she accidentally called me Momma and apologized. I told her she could call me whatever she wanted. (I was trying to get her to call me Miss Jenny instead of Ma'am.) She said, "Well, I already have a Momma...maybe I could call you mom." Talk about melt my heart. She now calls me Ma'am when she wants to ask a question or tell me something, and she calls me Mom when she needs something. She will occasionally call me Miss Jenny.

I emailed her caseworker this week to ask her about enrolling her for swimming lessons and if there was a chance she would be here that long. Her caseworker said to go ahead and enroll her. Who knows how long she will be here but we are all getting along really well. I took her to my school on Friday (I had a personal day) and her her screened for kindergarten and filled out the paperwork for her to start kindergarten. She was so excited to hang out in one of the kinder classrooms for a little bit. She knows she will go to my school IF she is still living with us and that she will go to a different school if she is with her Momma.

You would think that having three kids wouldn't be a shock to me since we said we would take them but just about daily I look around and think, "How in the world did I end up with three kids?" Being outnumbered does make a difference for sure. My brain is just always going. I didn't realize it until we got a babysitter last weekend and Davin, Alea and I went to dinner and a movie. We were sitting at dinner and I commented on how quiet it was with two less kids. Then I thought that wasn't true because the kids are quiet (I often have to have Belle repeat herself because she can be very soft spoken). I realized it was my head that was quieter. I wasn't thinking about how I needed to cut up someone's food, if I needed to make the baby a bottle, if someone was falling out of their chair, etc. It is just mentally quieter with two less kids. Davin agreed that it was quieter in his head too with only one kid.

Welcome to being a Party of 5 I guess.

In Like a Lion

I'm posting to my blog. You know what that means...more snow days! Today is #12 and they already called tomorrow off so that will be snow day #13. I think March is coming in like a lion.

The baby is mobile! He has his own form of moving. It isn't a traditional crawl and it isn't quite an army crawl either. He sure can get around though. He also isn't sleeping in anymore. :( Now that he is mobile he can't wait to wake up to start his adventures.

Davin just walked in the door and the baby started fussing. He fusses when he sees us because we can't seem to get to him fast enough to give him the love he wants RIGHT NOW.

x rays and a z pack

Yesterday E came home early from daycare because he was so fussy. If I haven't said it before let me just tell you that E is the happiest baby ever so for him to be that fussy is very rare. He woke up fussy yesterday and he always wakes up happy. Davin picked him up around noon and took him back to the doctor. The doctor was concerned about his lungs so he did an x ray. Davin had to help hold his shoulders down so Davin was basically in the x ray too. He got to wear the x ray jacket at least. The doctor said his lungs looked okay so he put him on a z pack which is stronger medicine than he was on.

Alea was home last Friday with a sore throat and ear ache but was better by Saturday afternoon. I started feeling the sore throat and ear ache by Saturday night. By Monday I was pretty much feeling the soreness all day. Monday night was the worst so I decided to take today off since the baby still wasn't himself and I was sick too. We actually took the baby to the daycare in the morning so I could get a little extra rest and go to the doctor without taking him with me. After the doctor I picked him up and we are at home hanging out until his visit with his mom later this afternoon. Since I am home I will transport him to his visit. I am glad to do it so I can talk to his mom and let her know how he has been feeling and that we are trying our best to care for him.

The doctor's office we have gone to since we moved to Arkansas has gotten to be too big and such a hassle. The office is about 20 minutes from our house and when we go there we can expect to wait for him for two to three hours!! Counting the wait for meds at WalMart and the drive it is easily a four hour affair. E's doctor is about 6 minutes from our house and he seems great so I decided to try to switch today. They are actually the same group so all of my information transferred. I called at 8 and got an appointment for 10. I went to my appointment at 10 and was back in my car by 10:15 with a prescription for meds already called in to Walgreens!! When the doctor walked in he asked if I was E's mom and if he had just seen E yesterday with my husband. I said yes. He said, "Okay, I am going to put you on the same medicine I put him on only a stronger dose. Now, what is wrong with you?" He looked at my ears and throat but didn't do a strep test which I was happy about because I have been known to slap away hands who try to give me a strep test (involuntarily, of course). I am so happy I switched.

I think the baby and I are going to go try to take a nap now.

Snuggle Time

The baby still isn't feeling well. I took him to the doctor this morning and he tested negative for the flu but has an ear infection. He drank 4 ounces at midnight but since then has only drank 3 ounces and it is 2pm. He has basically slept on my lap for two days. I am typing this with him asleep on my lap and I can only reach the computer with one hand (so this is taking a while to type). They gave him meds so I hope he starts feeling better soon.

#11

I just got the call that my district will be having a snow day tomorrow. I'm not sure about Alea's district yet but at least I can stay home with the sick baby. Let the snuggling continue.

Why?

I think the word or expression that God must hate the most (besides His name in vain) is "Why?" or "Why me/us?" I know the why question is usually asked in sad/bad situations, but lately I have been wondering why us for a different reason. I am wondering why God gave us a baby boy named E. We loved E's name and had the name picked for Alea if she was a boy. When we got married we thought we wanted a boy and a girl. We KNEW the boy name would be E's name but didn't come up with Alea's name until I was pregnant. After Alea was born we decided not to have more children, but I still loved the name and Davin still would have loved to have a little boy. We are happy with our decision to not have more children biologically and I am not sure if we will adopt one day through foster care or not (not our original plan, but I know God's plans are not always our own) so I just wonder why, for this first experience, God gave us such a sweet, loving boy named E.

#10 and hoping for #11

Today is snow day #10 and I hoping we have another one tomorrow because I have a sick baby on my hands. E is running a fever, has a running nose, and cough. He has pretty much slept on my lap all day long. It is 4:00 now and he is finally awake and playing (partly because I made him wake up). Davin offered to stay home with him tomorrow if I have school but Davin doesn't do well with fussy babies. He is more of a happy baby kind of guy. I don't think they will get along well together if E is sick and needs lovin' all day.

7 months

Our little guy turned 7 months old in January. I'm not sure what the exact date would be, but we are getting close to having this guy with us for half of his life. That is crazy.

He can sit up on his own (most of the time). When he falls over he just keeps on playing and is still happy. He can hold his own bottle (YEA!!). He is getting up on his hands and knees and rocking back and forth. It is only a matter of time until he starts crawling. He rolls all over the living room. Yesterday he rolled over to the tv and grabbed the tv cord. Davin told him "no, no". He looked at us like he couldn't not understand why we would say such a thing to his cute little self. Before Davin could get to him he unplugged the tv. I can tell life if about to get interesting!

He is really attached to me. If I am out and about in the evenings and he falls asleep before I get home he will wake up a couple hours later and get so upset. The only thing he wants and the only thing that makes him happy is snuggling with me. Davin has started not even putting him in his bed even if he falls asleep before I get home because it is just best for me to wake him up a little bit and love on him so he doesn't wake up scared and upset.

I think he is having nightmares again. He had a couple when we first got him but they mostly consisted of a stressed out face in his sleep with a little whimpering, now he wakes up screaming and crying with a volume of voice I never knew he had. I hate that for him. I just snuggle him and love on him until he calms down. How horrible to have nightmares at 7 months old.

People can not believe how happy he is though. He is probably the happiest baby I can ever remember meeting. This weekend at Alea's volleyball game Davin was holding him and sitting behind me on the bleachers. Whenever I would turn around it was like he forgot that the person in front of him was me and he would laugh and smile and reach for me. The rest of the parents on our team kept getting distracted by his sweet personality. I think it is pretty obvious, but I'll just go ahead and put it in writing...I am madly in love with this guy. Yep, that is going to hurt later!

He Who Shall Not Be Named

In January I did my first round of training for prospective foster and adoptive parents through The CALL. Immediately after I got home from training the attacks from "he who shall not be named"...i.e., the devil, began. I had one of the roughest weeks I can ever remember having. I cried a lot. A lot of stuff broke around the house. Strange things went on with E's case and overall I was exhausted. Training consists of 30 hours so I trained the second weekend and fourth weekend in January. The second weekend was rough for me during the training (the topic that got me was reunification and what they may look like/feel like for foster parents) but the following week was fine. On the way home from Saturday's training I did the ugly cry the whole way home thinking about not having E with us anymore. He isn't going anywhere right now but we never know when that may change and we know that it will happen eventually.

Snow Day!

Today we are at home enjoying snow day #9. E slept until about 8 am so that was nice. When he woke up we snuggled for a while and then played. It is so great to be able to spend this time with him. Alea had a sleepover at her bffs last night and just got home. Davin's dad has an appointment at the VA today so they will be by this afternoon and will stay to have dinner with us. I was able to get a lot of laundry and cleaning done today so that was great. I always feel so much better in a clean house. There are predictions that this will not be the only snow day this week. Stay tuned...

Growing

E has gotten his first two teeth over break. They are both bottom front teeth. E is eating baby food twice a day. He loves to eat!

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me

We have only had this little guy for about 2 1/2 months but it feels more like 6 months. Not because it has been rough, but because it is hard to remember life without him. He is a part of us now and we all fit well together. Alea is so great with him and he with her (minus the hair pulling on his part). I knew that I would probably love all the children that came into our home but it is different to love someone compared to completely falling in love with someone. I have completely fallen in love with baby E. The other day as I was loving on E and telling him that I loved him I saw on his face that he felt the same way. That almost knocked me over. I training they talk about loving on the kids that come into our homes but it almost like a lift the lid and pour in the love type way of thinking. I knew I would love, or at least try to love, all the kids in our home but I knew that many of them would not love me back. It never really occurred to me that one of them would love us back the way that this baby does. I knew pretty early on that I was going to get my heart broken by this baby leaving us one day, but at least I know that is going to happen and can tell myself I am preparing for it (although how can you really prepare yourself for loss). Knowing that this baby loves us too and that he can't prepare for the loss of us breaks my heart right now.