Today Alea asked me if she ever allowed to use the word "real" with our foster kids. I asked her what she meant. She said if we had a kid around Halloween time and they saw a fake skeleton if she could tell the child it wasn't real. I told her she could say it wasn't real but that I didn't understand where she was coming form with this question. She said she had heard me tell Davin once that he shouldn't use the word "real" with foster/adopted children because it wasn't okay (I think I said politically correct). I giggled because she thought I meant the word "real" was a negative word almost like a bad word. I just explained to her (like I did Davin) that there is no such thing as a "fake" parent so "real" doesn't make sense. It is not okay (politically correct) to say a biological parent is the "real" parent and or the adopted parent is the "real" parent. Both parents are "real" but one is the adopted/forever parent and the other is the birth or bio parent. Sometimes "birth" is not okay either if the adoptive parents were in the picture since birth (so many unwritten rules to remember). I told Alea it is like telling the child that the skeleton is made out of plastic so it isn't a real skeleton but it is a real plastic thing.
This real discussion reminds me of when people say they don't believe in guns. I have to laugh at that because guns are real and you can touch one and see one. It is okay to say that you don't believe in the Lock Ness Monster because it hasn't been proven to be real but not believing in guns, or abortions, or anything else like that makes me laugh. You may be against it but you have to believe in it...it is real. :)
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